end of year reflections

Here we are, only 14 1/2 hours away from the end of 2008, a year of incredible highs and incredible lows, both personally and on a larger scale.

The big decision I made in 2008 was that I want to go to law school. I've been putting off going for further schooling for years now, and I think it was a good idea. If I had decided to go to grad school a few years ago, I'd be a teacher today, or have a Master's in some obscure gibberish like Medieval Literature or Poststructuralist Criticism, both fine disciplines in their own right, but I never felt "the call" to study those things. I decided I want to devote the rest of my life to public service. Maybe it comes from working in philanthropy, seeing that when rich people want to do good, they plunk down some money for a scholarship, and wanting to be able to contribute in my own way. Well, I know I'll never be rich, but I wanted to feel like I was pulling my weight at a citizen, so it's off to law school and then off to the public defender's office for a few years. With any luck, I'll end up doing this in Philly, but if I end up staying in Boston, I can live with that.

In 2008, I rid myself of an awful friend. I'm not going to bother naming him, but he was a selfish, whiny, misanthrope who exists solely to spread misery and disgust to all in his path. He's gone now, out of my life, and I'm better for it. I'm no longer willing to tolerate shitty friends. The friends I still have, and they know who they are, are everything to me. They enhance my life and make me a better person. This unnamed friend did none of that, and I'm glad he'll never darken my doorway again.

In 2008, I also got out of a broken relationship. Of course, I was never willing to acknowledge that it was broken, but it was. I learned that devoting one's life and love to an insecure neurotic with parental abandonment issues will sap you of your joie de vivre and turn you into a barely functional, co-dependent pothead. To be fair, I was a pothead before I met her, but became more so in order to try to learn to be content living with and trying to love someone who would eventually cheat on me, take my dog, ruin my living situation and generally fuck my life up. Why did I stick around for so long? Because being loved, and being in love feels good. It feels really good. It feels so good that you're willing to overlook important things, like a glaring intellectual incompatibility. She's beautiful, I'll give her that. But when it comes to brains, I sure did settle this time. Live and learn, I suppose. In 2009, I resolve to keep my heart better guarded and not lower my standards just to be in love again.

Also, Barack Obama will be president in 20 days. This makes me happy to no end. The poor son of a bitch has his work cut out for him over the next 4 years, but I feel like the man's character will help to elevate the political discourse of this country beyond right vs. left and blue vs. red. I have a feeling that Americans may start actually taking an interest in their communities, and the foundations of those communities, inspired by the example set by the president. I feel like the government might realize that investing in social infrastructure, like social workers and community organizers, is preferable to punishing for life those whom society has failed. Maybe his administration will realize that teaching children how to survive in a global marketplace, as opposed to teaching them how to take standardized tests, is the only way America will ever stay competitive on a global scale. I have such high hopes for this administration that I can't help but expect disappointment. If there's one thing idealistic-sounding Democrats are good at, it's disappointing their supporters. Remember "don't ask, don't tell?" Remember how Bill Clinton promised universal health care? Needless to say, the achievements of the last Democratic president don't leave me with much hope. Then again, the Dems control both houses of Congress with a commanding majority, and the GOP is on the fast track to irrelevance. I'm just excited to see what's to come. I've been saying that Obama will either be the next FDR or the next Jimmy Carter. He will either fail or succeed, but whichever he does, he's going to do it in spectacular fashion. I have faith that he's gonna pull it off, but I also know it won't be easy.

Anyway, 2008 is almost over. I'm glad to see it in the rear-view mirror. My hope is that 2009 will be a year of growth, good friends, and the beginning of a wonderful life in public service. I think we can all drink to that.